Being a foreigner.

We were recently having lunch at the house of some English friends. As we sat in their 400+ year old house, they asked about differences between English and Americans. The first thing that came to mind was that I can't imagine sitting in anything 400 years old in the U.S. 

I have written many of my experiences in my blog over the years but I thought it would be fun to come up with a nice summary of the things that have felt "foreign" to me.  This very well might be based on my own idiosyncrasies (which I have a lot of...) rather than my "American-ness". 

With that in mind, here are the things that have struck me as an expat in England:

Politeness. 

The politeness of the Brits is sometimes unbearable for me. They constantly wave for driving mistakes, stop to let other cars through traffic, and apologize when I bump into them. 

Fireworks night. AKA bonfire night. AKA Guy Fawkes night. 

There is a celebration on the 5th of November full of bonfires and fireworks. They are apparently celebrating a terrorist who tried to blow up parliament. I still can't figure out if they are celebrating his attempt to blow it up, or that he was caught before doing it. I have asked. Even the English haven't known. Any excuse for a firework!

Lightbulbs.

I have never seen so many different types of lightbulbs in my life. Why don't they all screw in?!

Selection.

Every child in the kids' classes will be wearing black Clarke's shoes. Not because that is the uniform, the uniform only requires black shoes. When I go to a store, the selection of anything is more limited than we have in the US. Except cheese.

Utensils.

The English teach children to eat with a fork and knife in nursery school. American mommies and daddies cut their children's food for them! How the utensils are used is different as well. My fork is for holding a piece of food while I cut it, then the food is stabbed with the fork and eaten. The English cut their food, then use the knife to sort of scoop the food on to the BACK of the fork and bring it to their mouth. 

Sink taps.

Even in brand new, modern houses they will have sinks with two taps: hot and cold. How do you make warm?! Is warm scary? I still haven't figured it out. I cup my hands and put cold water in, then splash a little of the boiling water from the other tap to try to make it warm.

Donuts at the beach. 

These donuts are really great. You can buy them in bags of 6 or more and eat the whole thing. However, the donuts are covered in sugar. There is sand all over the beach. The beach is windy. Therefore, the donuts are covered in sand. 

Mushrooms, tomatoes, and baked beans for breakfast. 

Baked beans? Seriously? Ew. Not for breakfast. 

Bank Holidays. 

Bank holidays are days when the banks are closed. I have asked, "oh, what holiday is it?" It's a bank holiday. "I know, but what are you celebrating?" Nothing. It is a bank holiday. In America we have a reason for our bank holidays. We celebrate independence, eat turkey, remember the veterans, celebrate the president, etc. There is a reason. 

Who knows, maybe the reasons were invented by advertisers to encourage us to buy "holiday" merchandise? I love my President's Day guest towels. 

That seems very American.

Body and space awareness.

I know this is even more so in other European countries, but the personal space of the English is WAY smaller than I am comfortable with. I do not want to feel someone's breath on my neck while standing in the checkout line. Back up. It goes for other things too. There can be a carpark full of empty stalls and the person parking after me will inevitably park RIGHT NEXT to my car. If we set up picnic on the beach (with our sandy donuts), a jolly family will come along and set up next to us. An entire beach empty and they sit next to us!

Customer service.

There is just a different sense of consumerism and pleasing the customer here. Do I need to remind anyone of the chicken incident at the zoo? They wouldn't let me order a bucket of chicken because then they wouldn't have enough to sell to the people behind me.

Dates, numbers and time.

The English use Day/Month/Year and the Americans use Month/Day/Year. So 2/10/2014 is October in the UK but February in the US! Tea time=dinner and dinner=lunch. "half-4" is 4:30. When reciting a phone number with two similar numbers, they say "double ___" whereas Americans would just say the number twice.  

24/7

When a store is open 24/7 in America, that means I can go to that store at 2 a.m. any night of the week. Not so here. The store is open some days for 24 hours and it is open every day for a while, but not every day is 24 hours. 

Keep calm and carry on.

I am certain this is found in rural areas much more so than in the cities. Everything just seems to go slower. When there is an accident on the highway, everything shuts down. People pull out a picnic. They keep calm and carry on while I freak out and yell.  

Birthday parties.

Birthday parties in general seem similar. Until the end. They sing happy birthday then cut the cake up, wrap each piece into a little party napkin, and send it home with the kids. It's super fun to peel the paper off the icing at home. Ug. How is this a good idea? 

Kissing.

In America if I see a friend I sometimes hug them. Never kiss! Even if it is a cheek, over the last four years, I have kissed too many to count. (back to the body space issue...)

Friendships.

I have described the English as polite but not particularly friendly. This is a complicated issue. I don't know if it is fear of foreigners, people have just known each other for years, or maybe I am not as likeable as I like to think. The other parents at the school can be very cliquey. There is so much kissing and close-talking going on that I assume they must all be very best friends. But then one will kiss my cheek, talk very close, and not ever invite me to their house. I thought we were besties for a minute there. *sniff*

Related to this is our neighbors' behavior. There is a little girl Emmett's age who lives across the road. I have never seen her playing outside. We are running around hollering and being generally disruptive in the front of the house. She has never come out to join.I mention her, but I never see any other children out playing in their front gardens...If this happened in the States I would assume the children are being abused or hidden for some sinister reason. 

**I do need to point out that we have made some amazing English friends who have been incredibly warm and kind. I think it just takes a bit longer than in the States.

Language.

It is going to be very very important for my kids to give up the word "rubber" to mean an eraser. 

I will be happy to once again refer to my pants without blushing.

Dogs and kids.

Dogs must be well behaved. If they aren't, the English are sure to let you know they disapprove. However, they don't seem the least bit concerned that their children are pushing past me and staring rudely. 

Medications.

When I tried to buy melatonin the pharmacist acted as if I was trying to buy heroin. However, he was more than happy to offer me codeine!!

Cheese.

I have never tasted so many wonderful cheeses in my life. Cheddar is not orange.

I hope this list wasn't too slanted in a negative way. 

I have loved living here and I will miss it all dearly.