Blech. Separated by a Common Language.

My winter blues are in full force. Blech. I see light at the end of the tunnel, though...Josh and Mindy have officially booked tickets to come visit! I love visitors. So, I have recently been reminded of the language differences between myself and these English people. Here begins your lesson. 

• Augi recently lost an item of clothing at the school pool. It is made of wool, sleaveless, and goes over a shirt. What do you call this? A VEST you say? No, it is clearly a TANK TOP or SLIPOVER. But wait! What is that little sleaveless undershirt called? Don't you dare say TANK TOP.

IT IS A VEST. 

• Markers are pens with fat tips used for coloring and drawing, right? Nope. They are FELT TIPS. 
• If you are blinded by someone's car headlights, what has happened? They have DAZZLED you. No love involved.
• While on the subject of cars...I know that the trunk is the boot. But, do you know what the hood is? It is a BONNET. 
• You put PETROL in your car. GAS is the fizzy in your water.
• WIND is smelly and comes from your bum.
• PANTS. My god, the pants. NOBODY should see your pants. They belong in your trousers. 
• Who handles the accounting at the school? Well, he is a BURSAR. No matter how many times I try to say it, the poor secretary at the school can't understand me. It is meant to be pronounced somewhat like this.... Buuuuusssaaaa. Augi can say it perfectly. 
• You don't go to the doctor for SPOTTED DICK. You eat it.
• Where is the entrance to the supermarket? Oh, you mean the FRONT DOORS.
• Don't take a RUBBER with you on a date unless you plan to edit some pencil marks. 
• Your rain boots are WELLIES.
• Did you know that a hair braid rhymes with fat? Only when you call it a PLAIT.
• You dip a BISCUIT in milk, but you don't eat it with gravy.
• Those little cheap shoes we call tennis shoes are PLIMSOLLS and running shoes are TRAINERS.
• You buy NAPPIES for your baby's bum, forget the diaper. 
• On the baby issue, you quiet the baby with a DUMMY, and that isn't your husband---it is a binki.
• Trucks are LORRIES.

This is just a list of words I come across on a daily basis. And I thought it would be easy to live here because I didn't have to learn a new language.  Don't even get me started on spellings...